This has been a crazy good and crazy bad week for me.
I both want to write about it, but haven’t processed it because the wide swings that I have expereinced this week are just hard for me to integrate. I am very aware of how slowed my processing is this week. Even slower than its been with this setback.
And as I reflected about my experiences this week in order to write my blog post, I realized that part of what’s going on is that visually I am trying to learn how to organize increased “space”.
I have talked about the reorganization and neuroplasticity that I am having right now in my last posts.
It feels like my brain can now support taking in more space in my peripheral vision.
So it is taking in more space visually.
But my brain has to learn how to integrate that space.
And so the wide swings that I have experienced this week and that I cannot integrate well yet, are consistent with what’s going on in my brain, also.
I am taking in more, yet my brain has difficulty prioritizing. And so my brain is trying to take in more which means to me that it is trying to prioritize more information when it cannot prioritize information well.
Prioritizing what to take in and what not to take in is part of executive functioning skills and its something my brain does quite poorly post-injury as compared to pre-injury when I wasn’t even aware that prioritizing information to take in and what to ignore was part of what my brain did!
Since I am having a harder time dealing with the big screen of my computer this week, I am going to stop writing and post-this and then come back to it later.
I am limiting my computer use in general to get cognitive rest. When I need to use the computer, I am using my iphone which is some easier than the big screen right now.
I don’t know how to post my blog on my iphone yet, and I know that trying to learn new things right now is ill-advised for me when my brain is undertaking so much change. It takes too much concentration and too much energy. I need to use the energy to help my brain change right now.
I have so much to say but the computer technology is an even larger limitation for me in saying it right now!